![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
It will Rally all the Workers...
Jan. 20th, 2017 07:03 pmSo that happened.
I'm scared.
Nervous.
So I'm writing.
Here and there.
And the poetry too, that I thought I lost when Pat died.
(who's texts, which, if my phone is correct, I deleted. I thought about doing that anyway. Clearing the ghosts. I don't remember doing that though. Perhaps tipsy sleepy me did it. Strangely, I feel free. Give up the ghosts.)
I'm moving forwards, there's no where else for me to go. I'm tired of backwards.
I'm spending too much money on buying coffee out. The two americanos. Both toffee nut. Or just stuff from 7/11.
That's another thing. This Josh. The accidental one. The one that is still around. The one that gives me a safe space. (I haven't really slept at home for over a month. I'm just a visitor there now. Mostly guilty over my cat.) I've been so much less stressed. I didn't know how a person could be this nice. (I mean. to me. Apparently I've really dated some assholes. ) But at least I'm aware now and have the self esteem to know I fucking deserve this. No more pity party.
He's the best thing that happened last year.
And the best thing that has happened so far this year.
And even though I'm scared about the future in general,
I'm hopeful and safe and steady.
I'm scared.
Nervous.
So I'm writing.
Here and there.
And the poetry too, that I thought I lost when Pat died.
(who's texts, which, if my phone is correct, I deleted. I thought about doing that anyway. Clearing the ghosts. I don't remember doing that though. Perhaps tipsy sleepy me did it. Strangely, I feel free. Give up the ghosts.)
I'm moving forwards, there's no where else for me to go. I'm tired of backwards.
I'm spending too much money on buying coffee out. The two americanos. Both toffee nut. Or just stuff from 7/11.
That's another thing. This Josh. The accidental one. The one that is still around. The one that gives me a safe space. (I haven't really slept at home for over a month. I'm just a visitor there now. Mostly guilty over my cat.) I've been so much less stressed. I didn't know how a person could be this nice. (I mean. to me. Apparently I've really dated some assholes. ) But at least I'm aware now and have the self esteem to know I fucking deserve this. No more pity party.
He's the best thing that happened last year.
And the best thing that has happened so far this year.
And even though I'm scared about the future in general,
I'm hopeful and safe and steady.
